A Loved One is Diagnosed With Alzheimer's Disease: When to Seek Advice for Elder Care Planning

Attorney RJ Connelly III Certified Elder Law Attorney Professional Fiduciary

Caring for an aging loved one is a journey marked by love, concern, and—sometimes—difficult decisions. The process often begins subtly, with small memory lapses, confusion, or changes in daily routines that may go unnoticed at first. As these symptoms become more pronounced, families may find themselves confronting the realities of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, conditions that profoundly affect not only the individual but also those who care for them. Navigating this new landscape can bring feelings of grief, anxiety, and uncertainty, making it essential to seek guidance and support early on.

"At Connelly Law, we witness firsthand the profound impact these diagnoses have on families and understand the emotional and practical challenges that arise when a loved one’s health declines," said professional fiduciary and certified elder law Attorney RJ Connelly III. "We are committed to helping families prepare for what lies ahead. Early, informed legal planning can alleviate uncertainty, protect assets, and ensure your loved one receives the compassionate care they deserve. By establishing legal documents such as powers of attorney, health care proxies, and trusts, families can safeguard their loved one’s wishes and well-being, even as cognitive abilities decline."

“It’s never too early to start planning. Taking proactive steps now gives families peace of mind and ensures that important decisions are made before a crisis arises.” He further notes, “Our role is to guide families through these complex decisions with empathy and clarity, so they feel supported every step of the way.”

Today's blog explores the warning signs, practical steps following diagnosis, critical legal considerations, and the importance of professional support services, illustrated by a real-life case from Southeastern Massachusetts. Our goal is to empower families with knowledge and actionable solutions, so they can approach this journey with confidence, clarity, and compassion.

Recognizing the Signs: Symptoms of Dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease

The first step in elder care planning is awareness. Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease are progressive conditions, and their onset is often subtle. Families should watch for a range of indicators, including:

Short-term memory loss: Repeatedly forgetting recent conversations, appointments, or where items are placed can significantly disrupt everyday life. For example, a person might ask the same questions repeatedly or miss important meetings because they don't recall prior discussions or scheduled events. Additionally, frequently misplacing objects such as keys, wallets, or glasses—even in familiar environments—can cause frustration and may indicate underlying memory difficulties that go beyond normal forgetfulness.

Disorientation: Confusion regarding time, place, or familiar routes often manifests as difficulty recognizing locations that were once easily navigated. Individuals may forget where they are, lose track of the current day or date, or become disoriented even in environments they know well. This can include getting lost on the way to work, home, or while running routine errands, and struggling to follow directions or recall how to reach a familiar destination.

Difficulty completing everyday tasks: Experiencing difficulties with managing finances, preparing meals, or following instructions can be early warning signs of cognitive decline associated with conditions like dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. For example, someone may start missing bill payments, struggle with balancing a checkbook, or become confused by simple recipes they once prepared with ease. Additionally, they may find it hard to follow multi-step directions or become overwhelmed when organizing daily tasks. These challenges often reflect changes in memory, judgment, and problem-solving abilities, which are common in the early stages of dementia and Alzheimer’s.

Language problems: Struggling to find words, repeating questions, or losing track during conversations may be a sign of cognitive decline. These symptoms can manifest as difficulty recalling names or familiar words, asking the same question multiple times within a short period, or becoming confused about the topic being discussed. Such changes in communication abilities often indicate underlying issues with memory, attention, or other cognitive functions, and may warrant further evaluation by a healthcare professional.

Changes in mood, personality, or behavior: This includes withdrawal, sudden irritability, suspicion, or depression, which may be a sign of cognitive decline. These behavioral changes often occur as individuals struggle with memory loss or confusion, leading to frustration and emotional instability. Withdrawal from social interactions may result from difficulty communicating or understanding conversations, while increased suspicion can stem from misinterpreting situations or forgetting familiar people. Depression may develop as a response to the challenges and losses associated with cognitive impairment, further impacting overall well-being and quality of life.

Poor judgment: Making unusual financial decisions, such as paying bills late, giving away large sums of money, or making impulsive purchases, may be a sign of cognitive decline. Similarly, neglecting personal hygiene—like forgetting to bathe, wear clean clothes, or brush teeth—can also indicate difficulties with memory, judgment, or executive functioning. These behavioral changes often reflect challenges in managing daily routines and responsibilities, signaling the need for further assessment or support.

Loss of initiative: Decreased interest in hobbies or social activities may be a sign of cognitive decline. Individuals experiencing this change might gradually withdraw from activities they once enjoyed, such as playing games, reading, or attending gatherings with friends and family. This loss of engagement can be accompanied by feelings of apathy or difficulty maintaining conversations, which can signal underlying issues with memory, attention, or motivation.

If several of these signs persist, it’s critical to seek a medical evaluation. Early diagnosis can open doors to meaningful planning and support.

Receiving the Diagnosis: Emotional Impact and Immediate Actions

Hearing that a loved one has dementia or Alzheimer’s is a moment that transforms a family’s reality. The diagnosis brings forth a range of emotions—grief for what’s lost, anxiety about the future, and confusion about what to do next. It’s vital to take proactive steps:

Gather and organize medical information: After receiving an Alzheimer’s or dementia diagnosis, it is important to stay organized to ensure the best possible care. Begin by gathering all relevant medical records, including hospital discharge summaries, test results, imaging reports, and previous consultation notes. This information will help your healthcare team understand your medical history and track disease progression. Create an up-to-date list of doctors, specialists, and all current medications and prescriptions. Include the medication names, dosages, prescribing doctors, and any notes about side effects or special instructions. Keep this list handy for doctor visits, emergencies, or when filling prescriptions.

Initiate crucial conversations: After a dementia or Alzheimer’s diagnosis, it is essential to initiate open and compassionate conversations about your loved one’s preferences for their future. Begin by discussing the type of medical care and treatment they desire, including whether they wish to pursue aggressive interventions or prioritize comfort and quality of life. Address financial matters early on by reviewing assets, sources of income, and ongoing expenses together. Make arrangements to manage finances by assigning durable power of attorney and ensuring trusted individuals have access to account information, insurance policies, and legal documents. Discuss living arrangements and long-term plans openly, considering your loved one’s wishes about staying at home, moving in with family, or transitioning to an assisted living or memory care facility

Assemble a support team: After a dementia or Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis, it is crucial to involve family, trusted friends, and professionals such as counselors and elder law attorneys early in the process. Family members and close friends can provide emotional support, help with daily tasks, and assist in monitoring changes in behavior or needs. Counselors can offer guidance in coping with the emotional challenges that come with the diagnosis, helping both the individual and their loved ones adapt to new realities. Engaging an elder law attorney early ensures that important legal documents, such as powers of attorney, healthcare directives, and wills, are completed while the individual can still make decisions. Early involvement of this support network helps create a clear plan, reduces stress, and empowers everyone to make informed choices for the future.

Having these conversations early helps preserve your loved one’s autonomy and ensures their preferences are respected as their condition progresses.

Counseling and Support: Emotional and Psychological Resources

Alzheimer’s disease profoundly impacts not only the diagnosed individual but also their entire support network, including family and close friends. Receiving such a diagnosis can trigger a wide range of emotions—grief, anxiety, and uncertainty are common, and it is essential to acknowledge these responses as a natural part of the process.

Professional counseling offers a confidential and supportive environment where both individuals and families can express their feelings, learn effective coping mechanisms, and begin to adapt to changing roles and responsibilities. In addition to one-on-one counseling, participating in support groups—whether in-person or online—can provide invaluable opportunities to connect with others who are navigating similar experiences. Sharing personal stories and practical advice within these groups helps reduce feelings of isolation and fosters a sense of community.

These resources empower families with strategies to manage the emotional and practical aspects of caregiving, from understanding disease progression to exploring care options and legal considerations. By engaging with professional counselors and peer support networks, families can access up-to-date information, share resources, and gain reassurance that they are not alone in their journey.

Connelly Law strongly advocates integrating counseling and support services into your Alzheimer's planning process, ensuring that both the individual and their loved ones are equipped to face the challenges ahead with resilience, compassion, and clarity. Taking this comprehensive approach allows for more informed decision-making and helps preserve the well-being of everyone involved.

The Critical Role of an Elder Law Attorney

Legal planning is essential soon after a diagnosis, before cognitive impairment progresses. An elder law attorney provides guidance tailored to your family’s needs:

Establishing powers of attorney for financial and healthcare decisions ensures that someone you trust can act on your loved one’s behalf.

Drafting or updating a will and creating trusts to protect assets and clarify beneficiaries.

Designating healthcare proxies to empower advocates in medical situations.

Exploring advance directives such as living wills to outline preferences for end-of-life care.

Medicaid and long-term care planning to shield savings from the high cost of skilled nursing or assisted living.

Legal documents must be prepared while your loved one still has capacity. Early intervention also helps reduce the likelihood of disputes and ensures a smoother transition as needs evolve.

Medicaid and Long-Term Care Planning: Safeguarding Financial Security

Long-term care can quickly drain a family’s finances, with costs for assisted living or nursing homes often running into thousands of dollars monthly. Medicaid is designed to help, but eligibility requirements are complex. An elder law attorney will:

• Assess assets and recommend strategies, such as asset protection trusts, to preserve resources.

• Guide families in the “look-back period” to avoid penalties for asset transfers.

• Assist with Medicaid applications, ensuring documentation is complete and accurate.

• Advise on options for home care, adult day care, or alternative living arrangements.

Planning ahead can mean the difference between a seamless transition and stressful last-minute decisions.

Estate Planning and Property Preparation: Readying for Sale and Cleanout

Sometimes, a loved one’s property must be sold to fund their care or streamline the estate. Begin by:

• Conducting a professional appraisal to determine market value.

• Organizing and cleaning out possessions, prioritizing keepsakes and documents.

• Hiring trusted contractors for necessary repairs or staging.

• Consulting with real estate agents and legal advisors to handle sale paperwork and protect proceeds.

Addressing these tasks before the move to long-term care prevents rushed decisions and reduces stress for all involved.

Family Planning: Preventing Disputes Over Property and Sentimental Items

Disagreements over property and keepsakes can fracture families. To prevent discord:

• Hold regular family meetings to discuss plans and assign responsibilities.

• Document decisions and communicate them clearly to all parties.

• Consider mediation services if disagreements arise or emotions run high.

• Prioritize open dialogue and respect for each person’s wishes and memories.

Connelly Law’s approach emphasizes consensus-building, helping families preserve relationships and honor their loved one’s legacy.

Maintaining Independence: Putting Support Services in Place

The goal is to keep loved ones as independent as possible for as long as possible. Consider:

• Home health aides to assist with daily living activities.

• Meal delivery, transportation, and medication management services.

• Enlisting Connelly Law's professional fiduciary services to manage finances and pay bills, ensuring accuracy and integrity. This service will also monitor expenses, prevent exploitation, and ease the burden on family caregivers.

These supports give families peace of mind and help delay a move to long-term care until absolutely necessary.

The Thompson Family’s Journey in Southeastern Massachusetts

Mary Thompson's family first noticed her confusion when she repeatedly asked about events they had discussed earlier that day and occasionally left the stove on after preparing meals. Her gentle demeanor remained unchanged, but she grew increasingly anxious about daily routines, sometimes forgetting whether she had taken her medication or completed simple chores. Friends in the community also observed that Mary seemed withdrawn at church gatherings and struggled to recall familiar faces, prompting concern and gentle offers of support.

At first, her daughters attributed these lapses to normal aging, but as the incidents increased in frequency and severity, their concern deepened. After several heartfelt conversations and gentle observations, they encouraged Mary to see her physician, who conducted a series of cognitive assessments and neuroimaging. The eventual diagnosis of early-stage Alzheimer’s left the family feeling overwhelmed and uncertain.

Determined to support their mother, the family reached out to Connelly Law for guidance during this challenging time. We started by reviewing what needed to be said in family meetings, coaching the daughters on how to approach sensitive topics with compassion and clarity. Together, we ensured Mary’s wishes for medical care, finances, and living arrangements were clearly documented, respecting her autonomy as much as possible. Our staff worked closely with the Thompsons to establish robust durable powers of attorney for both health care and finances, so decisions could be made seamlessly if Mary became unable to participate. We also updated Mary’s will to reflect her current intentions and created an advance directive detailing her preferences for life-sustaining treatment and end-of-life care.

For Medicaid planning, we performed a comprehensive assessment of Mary’s assets, including her home, savings, and personal property. Our team provided guidance on structuring these assets to maximize eligibility for future benefits and on establishing protection trusts to shield critical resources from spend-down requirements. We mapped out a timeline for potential long-term care, discussing the various stages of Alzheimer’s progression and the likely costs at each step. To help the family prepare, we offered regular check-ins and reviewed options for in-home support versus facility care, always keeping Mary’s comfort and dignity at the center.

The family collaborated with our firm to clean out Mary’s home, an emotionally charged process filled with memories and sentimental items. Our office put in place professional clean-out services specializing in downsizing for seniors, making the task more manageable and less stressful. As bill management became increasingly challenging for Mary, we connected the Thompson family with our fiduciary services department, which allowed her to remain at home longer with minimal worry about missed payments or financial mistakes. These supports also gave Mary’s daughters peace of mind, knowing her affairs were in order.

Ultimately, when the transition to assisted living became necessary due to Mary’s evolving needs, the Thompsons approached the process with both practical readiness and heartfelt care. They thoughtfully toured several local facilities, carefully compared care levels, and engaged Mary in every discussion—making certain that her preferences and feelings were honored throughout. While the journey presented its share of challenges, each was met with patience, understanding, and compassion, ensuring Mary never felt alone or unheard. Through open communication and unwavering support, the family created an environment of trust and comfort. In the end, the Thompsons were united, confident, and able to devote their energy to cherishing time with Mary, knowing that her needs and legacy would be safeguarded for years to come.

A Final Thought

Facing dementia or Alzheimer’s is never easy. At Connelly Law, we understand the profound emotional and practical challenges these diagnoses bring to families. With compassion and professionalism, our team offers early, comprehensive legal planning, emotional support, and access to practical services that can transform an overwhelming situation into one marked by clarity, security, and peace of mind. We are deeply honored to guide Rhode Island, Connecticut, and Massachusetts families through every stage of this journey, ensuring your loved one’s wishes are respected and their well-being is safeguarded. Our Safe Harbor Dementia Planning services are designed to create a holistic, individualized plan that addresses every aspect of legal planning for dementia and Alzheimer’s care, providing you with guidance, confidence, and genuine support every step of the way.

As Attorney Connelly affirms, “Every family’s journey is unique, but no one should have to navigate these challenges alone. Our mission is to provide both peace of mind and a clear plan for the future.” He also reminds families, “It’s never too early to start these important conversations. Together, we can ensure your loved one’s needs are met with dignity and compassion.”

If you’re noticing signs of cognitive decline in a family member, reach out today. Let us help you navigate the path ahead with empathy, expertise, and unwavering support.

The materials and information presented in this blog are intended solely for general informational purposes and should not be interpreted as legal, financial, or healthcare advice. The content may not reflect the latest developments, regulations, or best practices in these fields, and as such, should not be relied upon for making personal or professional decisions. This blog may include links to third-party websites provided strictly for the convenience of our readers; Connelly Law neither endorses nor guarantees the accuracy or reliability of external content. Case studies shared herein are anonymized, contain no identifying information, and may be amalgamated from multiple cases for illustrative purposes only. Given the complexities of legal, financial, and healthcare matters, we strongly recommend consulting a qualified attorney, a professional fiduciary advisor, or a healthcare provider for guidance tailored to your specific circumstances. Your well-being and ability to make informed decisions remain our utmost priority.